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Send your own ElfYourself eCards Happy Holidays!

NORAD tracks Santa 2008 The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) is a joint U.S.-Canada military organization based at Peterson Air Force Base, Colorado. NORAD systems scan the skies for Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles (ICBM) flying over the poles. Artist’s rendering of NORAD engaging Santa during his Christmas Eve errands. Click the thumbnail picture above to download a larger image for your desktop. Santa’s annual trip is a logistical nightmare for the folks at NORAD. His sleigh has no transponder. The only light is Rudoph’s nose. NORAD has responded with a special-purpose, one-night-a-year Santa Tracker. Santa-Cam images will be available at the site linked above on Christmas Eve. It’s great fun. Do be sure to check it out! Thanks to Max for the excellent artist’s representation. He also did the one for the post on last year.

Yah, this should have gone out in September. I’m printing it now because it is sweet . *Warning: This will be offensive to the Politically Correct, fans of Fox News, white trash, and female porn stars. Just letting you all know.* Heather Mallick’s Official Website – A Mighty Wind blows through Republican Convention Ms. Mallick describes Sarah as having “a sturdy body, clothes that are clinging yet boxy and a voice that could peel the plastic seal off your new microwave.” And that’s the nicest thing she had to say about her. Plus, Fox News hates Ms. Mallick. I can’t think of a better endorsement. There’s a video on YouTube of a harpy from Fox News – whose name completely eludes me – attempting to castrate David Warren of the Ottawa Citizen. It really was quite pitiful. She was full of rage and venom at the CBC for allowing Ms. Mallick’s article to stay up on their site. To his credit Mr. Warren quietly explained to ...

Astronaut loses tool bag during spacewalk “An Astronaut is only as good as her tools.” An Astronaut is only as good as her tools. Navy Capt. Heide Stefanyshyn-Piper had a bad day on Tuesday. During her spacewalk outside the International Space Station . She dropped her tool bag and it drifted off into space. Everyone has dropped a tool and had to climb down the ladder to pick it up. Most folks have had to make a quick trip to the Depot in the middle of a job to buy a special-purpose tool. This was kind of like that. On the other hand, this tool bag cost around $100,000 and was one of only two on board the shuttle. BTW, the $100,000 includes shipping costs. :-) In the NASA video, Capt. Stefanyshyn-Piper repeatedly tried to grab the bag as it drifted away. Now that must have been a sick feeling! Perhaps the observers radioed her, “Let it go! It’s not worth being a meteor for a tool bag!” She probably wanted to get away. I hope she has a sense of...

A friend recently consulted me about a rumor he heard. He wanted to know whether the Muslims are investing money in the US in order to take over. This is my reply: The simple answer is “No, and if they did it was an amazingly stupid investment.” But I don’t do simple. :-) I’ll start by saying, screw the Taliban, they’re stone-age guys with guns and a beautiful book of inspired verses that none of them is educated enough to actually read. And WE put them in power to drive out the Russians. Third World Traveler: Afghanistan, the CIA, bin Laden, and the Taliban Unfortunately, in the late ’90’s the Taliban was opposing an oil pipeline through Uzbekistan that would have had to come down through their country. This incensed oilman George W. Bush. The Taliban doesn’t own anything but poppies, guns and rocks. Their country was destroyed by years of war against Russia. There is an entire generation of people who can’t read, who have n...

Got this email from a friend. I howled with laughter when I read it. See the next post for my response. Dear American: I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude. I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you. . . I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe. This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look...