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I harvested this lunacy out of several old datebooks that I threw away last week. The books were from the ’80s and I was undxed and possibly self-medicating through most of them. Pointless. “Gay, straight or Mummer ?” Drive the porcelain bus. Country club for the exceedingly timid. Missionaries & Cannibals. This is a bar game we used to play. The rules are simple, the solution isn’t, especially when you’re in Jay’s Elbow Room getting hammered. Selective psychotropic medication – helps you forget only the things you want to forget. Beef Croquet. I guess you play with meatballs and a tenderizing mallet? The best part about eating cockroaches is that when you’re done you can pick your teeth with the legs. Book: “ Manifold Destiny: The One! The Only! Guide to Cooking on Your Car Engine! “- Works best on a V8. Living Color: “ Time’s Up “ Positive K – Nightshift – this was the first urban/...

I could have gone on SSDI in 1999. I chose not to. Instead, I went back to school for one more semester in the fall of 2000 and finished up my BSES at 42 years old. I’m not sure whether I’m experiencing a slow decline or whether I’m just having a couple of bad years. But I’m going to work for as long as I can. Maybe next time I’;m out of work I’ll apply for SSDI. And maybe I’ll go for my master’s when it happens. Who the hell knows? I want to be my best, whatever my best is. I expect everyone to be the best they can around me. I understand physical and mental limitations. I don’t understand not trying. Anybody who wants a Hallmark card can go to Eckerd’s and buy one. That’s not what the Bipolar Planet is all about. That’s not what I’m about. To quote Timothy Leary , “The future of the human species is to learn how to use our brains.” We are the ones who can do this, but it comes with...

I spend a good deal of my discretionary income on books. Amazon.com lets you create a wishlist . I like to put things on the wishlist instead of in the shopping cart. It still feels like a hypomanic shopping spree. I can’t change what I am, but I can change how I behave, right? I scan the wishlist a couple times a year and if I still want an item I put on there a few months ago, I probably am justified in actually buying it. Plus it makes it easier for friends and family to buy for me. (Not a hint.) This is my wishlist . I don’t read as much on bipolar disorder as I used to. Theyre running out of novel ways to say “Take yer meds!” I read more on alternatives these days. And not much of that, I’m afraid. You’ll see when you look at the lists.

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don’t mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming! The World’s Shortest Personality Test

What Kind of Soul Are You? You Are a Visionary Soul You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

The National Socialist party didn’t spring full-grown from the head of Zeus. The groundwork for the Night of the Long Knives was laid years before it happened. There are a lot of parallels between the increasing curtailment of freedom in the US and the laws in post-WWI Germany. We have not yet been punished by the international community for our aggression the way Germany was after WWI. That action destroyed Germany’s economy and seriously damaged its national pride. It remains to be seen whether measures will be taken against the United States, and whether how we will respond. It remains to be seen whether international censure will inspire the party to scapegoat somebody in order to save face. It remains to be seen whether calls to patriotism will become something ugly. Didn’t someone say, “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it?” Oh, yes, there are parallels. We haven’t plumbed the depths yet.

The Hidden Messages in Water by Dr. Masaru Emoto, scientific researcher, healer, and popular lecturer. Masaru Emoto: Miraculous Messages from Water contains some beautiful photos of these snowflakes. For the engineers in the audience, perhaps you remember the discovery in the 1980’s of the Josephson Junction . The Josephson Junction is a silicon device that is so sensitive to electromagnetic waves that it can detect the small EM waves emanating from a person’s brain . In fact, it has been tested in mice as a brain-machine interface. I submit that water crystals may be a natural manifestation of the Josephson Effect .

Update : The laptop arrived and it knows both that it is a Compaq and that it currently is running Windows 98. I’ll spend a bit of time documenting the hardware configuration and obtaining drivers before starting the conversion to Linux. To reiterate, I bought an ancient laptop from Bob Johnson.com – a Compaq Presario 1235 laptop – for $199. It’s old and slow, but I ran servers on a 486DX2/66 in 1999-2000 so I don’t think it will be a problem. The tricky part will be getting a network card to work. I found a site with instructions on installing Red Hat and getting drivers for this model laptop. I may have an old 5.2 install CD around somewhere. I also have 8.something, but that’s 5 CDs and cutting it kind of close for a laptop that only has a 4G hard drive. Anyway, here are the details: Compaq Presario 1235 AMD K6 – a blistering 266Mhz Processor. 12 inch Dual Scan display. Whopping 4 Gig hard drive. 96 meg of memory. 24x CDROM. Flo...

34. lae Apr 25 1988, 4:03 pm From: l…@pedsga.UUCP – Find messages by this author Date: 25 Apr 88 20:03:56 GMT Local: Mon, Apr 25 1988 4:03 pm Subject: Re: Are Animals Patentable? in article <1…@qiclab.UUCP> leon…@qiclab.UUCP (Leonard Erickson) writes: [It will be found] that there are some “humans” who don’t fit the definition … unless the definition is such that some creatures considered “non-human” now will be “human” under it. Both outcomes will cause great outcry. … (… I’;d be surprised if it happened in 5 years, and even more surprised if it *didn’t* happen in 25!) I believe that the answer is to treat all animals as humans and to provide vocational rehab for those who have trouble functioning in human society. Leslie

Drivers using cell phones more likely to crash – Wireless World – MSNBC.com. I don’t think I need to comment on the content of this article. It sure took MSNBC a long time to figure it out. driving + using cellphone = menace

Just found the web page for a new movie, Heart of the Beholder . It’s about a family-owned video store chain that is targeted by a religious cult for offering – supposedly – obscene videos. The story is true. The main video they objected to was Martin Scorsese’s “ The Last Temptation of Christ “, a movie that was attacked by religious fanatics from the first day of filming. As I recall, the author of the original book was excommunicated for writing it. But the cult also objected to some movies that I thought were pretty innocuous. Was there really beastiality in Tom Hanks’ Splash “? I must have accidentally rented the PG version. I don’t need anyone to tell me what movies I can and can’t see, much less someone from a completely different culture. It’s rare that the powerless can beat the odds, but this film is Rocky versus the Religious Right, and the fight isn’t over till it’s over. Sounds like a must-s...

… just add books. Today is the first day of the rest of your library

My response to The Molecular Biology of Emotion . Just listened to Dr. Candace Pert’s new audiobook, “ Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind .” Dr. Pert is the scientist who discovered the opiate receptors in the brain. She was prominently featured in the movie “ What the Bleep Do We Know? .” If you haven’t seen it yet, you must turn off your computer right this instant and go rent a copy. Very kewl stuff. I knew that the R-complex, the hindbrain, took care of autonomic functions. I never considered that the hindbrain was also the interface between the body and the brain as far as integrating the physical experience of a neurotransmitter with the emotional response to that neurotransmitter. And vice-versa. What we do, then, is to rationalize our gut-level reactions and emotions and then either repress, modify, or act upon them. Wow. I definitely want to check out another of Ms. Pert’s books, “ Molecules of Emotion .”

I have chosen to step out of the darkness and into the cold light of day. I am bipolar . Accept me or fade away. I don’t have time for shadows. I wonder about the wisdom of this decision, to embrace the bipolar disorder as part of who I am. Not to fight it, but to soothe it with the bare minimum of meds. I have turned my back on the old sacraments, and have embraced the New God. I have recited the Thousand Names: Prozac, Lamictal, Ativan. I have traded the hypomanias away for the illusion of safety from the depressions. And I wonder whether I am a coward.

How to keep the groundhogs out of the garden: Stake a cat to the tomatoes.

I’m told that besides bipolars and schizophrenic visionaries, political dissidents andsubversive herbalists were also tortured and burned at the stake. Let’s add gays and Lesbians to the list. It makes sense that a single woman might make her living from herbalism. Which she may have learned from a lesbian mentor. Which was part of that Old Time Religion , not Christianity. Herbalism, that is, not lesbianism! Hallucinogenic plants are very effective in treating certain kinds of ailments. Sort of like early transpersonal psychology . Until one of the Good Townsfolk took the belladonna and had a bad trip. She’s a witch! Burn the witch! According to the infamous & Hammer of Witches , gay men were to be thrown in with the bundles of sticks as kindling, hence faggot . It was so prevalent that the word for kindling became applied to gay men as a pejorative. The mentally ill are *still* seen as being demon-possessed in some places, even in the US. I have talk...

The anthropological literature has whole books on how different cultures view mental illness. A bipolar makes a perfect shaman, because unmedicated we tend to have periods of remission between any episodes of talking to Dog. How we perceive our own level of functioning is an important part of the diagnostic criteria. I quote from pendulum.org : The symptoms are a cause of great distress or difficulty in functioning at home, work, or other important areas. It seems fairly obvious that if your job function is to have psychotic episodes, then the symptoms aren’t going to create difficulties at work. I completely agree that many of the prophets and Christian Mystics were mentally ill. I believe that they were putting forth Truths that were only available to a shattered mind, a mind that has no stake in the status quo. This is the meaning of “thinking outside of the box&”. We are stigmatizing mental illness in ways that go far beyond any distress or difficulty in f...

A little game from bipolar disorder: the story of me and it . Grab the nearest book you have on the subject of Bipolar Disorder. Open the book to page 18. Find the ninth sentence Post the text of the sentence. Have a laugh. (a derivation of the page 23 meme) There is a higher prevalence of bipolar disorder among people diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome, a neurological disorder known to involve differences in the basal ganglia that result in tics. – Mitzi Walsh, Adult Bipolar Disorders .

Well, the news is full of fun stuff today. The press could do so much good if they directed their energy into improving the world. Man faints, dies after seeing epidural . Ok, I can almost see this. The needle is three inches long and marked in stripes to indicate depth of penetration. It looks kind of like a skeeter’s tweeter. US reporter jailed in CIA trial . This one is tricky. Background: Joseph Wilson was confronting Dubya over the questionable evidence he had presented to justify the rape of Iraq. To retaliate, someone told a NY Times reporter that his wife, Valerie Plame, is a CIA agent. Nobody knows how many people have died because she was outed – she was in a sensitive overseas post. Furthermore, the reporter who is being jailed, Judith Miller, doesn’t even know who the leak was! The issue here is whether the press has the right to keep sources confidential. G8 calls for new climate dialogue . There are only 5 people left in the world who don...

I believe that the answer is to treat all animals as humans and to provide vocational rehab for those who have trouble functioning in human society. – me, 25 Apr 88 20:03:56 GMT in sci.bio Are Animals Patentable?

New use for those robotic vacuum cleaners. What sort of add-ons could you have for the Roomba? Angle: For the Roomba , there is a group that’s working very seriously and looking at the idea of using the Roomba as a physical avatar. I might log into a Web page and see what the robot sees, hear what the robot hears and be able to drive the robot from my Web page. If I read this right, I can now become one with my vacuum cleaner.

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the Devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of Hell … –Saint Augustine (heh heh heh) SSDD, huh? Feb 11 1988, 12:43 pm in sci.philosophy.tech

I’m considering getting a Linux laptop. Now that Red Hat has been seduced to the Dark side, Fedora it will be. I get the scratch-and-dent email from BobJohnson.com and I’m hopeful that there will be a suitable laptop soon. And that they will actually be able to ship it to me this time.